Helping a Parent Begin Funeral Pre-Planning: A Guide for Caring Family Members
Talking about funeral plans with a parent may not be easy—but doing so can bring peace, clarity, and even a sense of comfort to your entire family.
Many adult children hesitate to bring up the topic, fearing they’ll upset or offend their parent. But in truth, most parents want to have this conversation—they just don’t know where to begin or how to make decisions on their own.
By offering guidance and support, you can help your loved one take control of their wishes while protecting your family from emotional and financial stress later on.
At Security National Life Insurance Company, we’ve seen firsthand how families thrive when they approach pre-planning with compassion and purpose. Here’s how to begin.
1. Choose the Right Moment
Timing matters. Avoid bringing up the topic during holidays, family celebrations, or times of stress.
Instead, consider a quiet, relaxed setting where you can speak privately and without distractions. A casual walk, drive, or coffee chat often works better than a formal sit-down.
You can ease into the conversation by referencing:
A recent funeral or memorial service
Estate planning tasks (like writing a will or organizing paperwork)
Your own thoughts about planning ahead
“I’ve been thinking a lot lately about planning ahead. I want to make sure we all have clarity when the time comes. Have you ever thought about pre-planning your funeral?”
2. Lead with Empathy, Not Pressure
Make it clear that this conversation comes from love—not urgency or fear.
Let your parent know that:
You respect their wishes
You want to ensure those wishes are honored
You don’t want them—or the rest of the family—to be unprepared or overwhelmed
Focus on how pre-planning benefits them and their family, rather than making it about your own concerns.
“This isn’t something we have to figure out today. I just want to support you if you ever decide you’d like to take that step.”
3. Provide Helpful Resources
Sometimes the idea of funeral planning feels more intimidating than the reality. You can help ease that pressure by offering informative materials.
Share:
Brochures or planning checklists
Security National’s pre-need planning information
A list of local funeral homes or planning advisors
An example of a simple pre-need policy
Reading these materials at their own pace gives your loved one the space to reflect and decide.
4. Offer to Be Involved—But Let Them Lead
Some parents feel comforted by having a child attend a meeting with them. Others prefer privacy when speaking with a funeral advisor. Let them know you’re available to help—but you also respect their independence.
You can offer to:
Attend a planning consultation with them
Help review documents or ask questions
Assist in comparing service or payment options
Take notes or organize their wishes in writing
“I’d be happy to come with you to a meeting if that would help. Or I can just help you write things down after you’ve spoken to someone.”
5. Emphasize the Long-Term Benefits
Pre-planning may seem like just another task—but it’s a meaningful gift for the whole family. Help your parent understand the value of:
Financial control: Locking in today’s costs avoids future inflation and spares the family from unexpected expenses.
Emotional relief: Their children and loved ones won’t have to guess or make difficult choices under pressure.
Peace of mind: Knowing everything is in place brings comfort that their wishes will be respected.
When framed positively, pre-planning becomes less about death—and more about legacy.
6. Involve a Trusted Advisor
Sometimes the easiest way to begin is with a professional guide.
At Security National Life, our licensed funeral planning advisors specialize in:
Compassionate, no-pressure consultations
Helping seniors understand their options
Offering affordable pre-need insurance plans
Documenting every detail for complete clarity
Our team works closely with local funeral providers to create flexible, personalized plans that align with your parent’s wishes—and support the family when the time comes.
7. Revisit the Conversation Over Time
Not all parents will be ready right away. And that’s okay.
Allow the topic to rest and revisit it periodically, especially after life milestones such as retirement, a medical diagnosis, or the passing of a peer or sibling.
Every conversation plants a seed—and sometimes, that seed just needs time to grow.
Final Thoughts: This Is a Conversation of Care
Helping a parent begin funeral pre-planning isn’t about confronting mortality. It’s about offering reassurance. It’s about honoring their voice, their values, and their desire to protect the people they love.
Approach the process gently, offer support without pressure, and trust that each step forward—no matter how small—is a powerful act of love.
When your parent is ready, Security National Life Insurance Company is here to help. Our experienced advisors will provide the tools and compassion your family needs to navigate this meaningful journey—together.
Explore planning resources or schedule a conversation at securitynationallife.com
